The Gaps

More genius from my a-lister blog friend Hugh McLeod of http://www.gapingvoid.com/

There is power in words and especially names. TSCFELOMY (The So-Called Former Ex-Love Of My Life) will henceforth never be mentioned again on this blog. And if she is she will be referred to as SWMNBN. She Who Must Not Be Named. Oh, for fuck fuck fuckitty fuck's sake!

Sound Advice

I looked so happy in this picture last year but it's because I was drunk. Sometimes I miss the who-gives-a-fuck guy in this picture but I don't miss the extra 30 lbs of beer gut he carried around. Plus, if you look close at the left eye you'll see the real sadness behind the smile.

I deleted a recent post , an open letter to the former so-called love of my life, because it was just too painful to see it here and face what it said and what it meant. However, a good friend pointed out that the mighty and beautiful Sea Rabbit had given me the advice I need the most in a comment she left on the now missing post. That advice was this: Love YOURSELF the way you loved her (more than anything) and love her the way she's been loving YOU (not at all)!

Dude! I hadn't really paid it any mind at the time but that's some great advice right there! When I asked my sponsor how to let her go he said "Pray for her happiness every time you think of her until it doesn't matter to you anymore." He also said that might take a long time. It makes sense though. If I loved her so fucking much I should wish for her happiness. Fuck's sake though! How big do I have to be? Big enough for that apparently. So there you have it kids. I'm over it. I wish her the best, but we're both fucking someone else. She's gone and I'm moving on. OK? OK. BTW in 18 days I will celebrate one year of continuous sobriety and today is 22 days since I had a cigarette. So fucking there! :-)

Very Unhappy Half Nekkid Thursday

I look so happy in this picture don't I? Unfortunately it's a Very Unhappy Half Nekkid Thursday for me. I am seriously not well. I am a majorly fucked up fuckin mess. I had written a pretty long post with a new picture of the cause of my distress but it made me feel so bad I had to erase it. I wish you all the best.

New Tattoo

This is quite similar to my new tattoo. I was doodling tattoos on napkins with The Good Doctor in a bar some weeks ago and hit on a design something like this, except in dark blue ink and a bit less symmetrical in the flames. I've had the napkin kicking around for a while now and yesterday finally brought it to the tattoo place up here where they said $60 and about an hour to do it. I'm getting it on my left pec above the nipple (which I'm probably going to get pierced soon). I'm totally heartbroken right now thinkng about the woman I love with someone else's dick in her mouth and I need some physical pain to distract me from the emotional pain I'm feeling right now. I really deserve no sympathy though because I bring this shit on myself. I know what she's like. This is what she does. The surprise is that I continue to love her when she does it.

Alan Haynes

This is Alan Haynes, Texas Strat man. Do yourself a favor. Go to his MySpace page and listen to his two tunes. I saw this guy in Auston last year and he was BALLS OUT AWESOME.
He was casually walk around chatting with people while effortlessly musically RIPPING. Truly burning up the guitar neck. Pretty good singer too in a laid back kind way. CHECK. IT. OUT.
In case you missed the hyperlinks here it is again: http://www.myspace.com/alanhaynes
If you are a lover of the blues you WILL dig it. You heard it here first.

Pulled Over!

Well, I may have mentioned there's a downside to being sober and that is I now drive like a crazy person. I do violence to the letter and spirit of every traffic law daily. The only surprising thing about being pulled over was that it took so long. At 2:30 AM coming home from the recording studio I was easily doing 70 in a 30. Admittedly there was no one on the road but me and the cop. I was polite, I was respectful, I was legal (paperwork-wise) and most importantly I was sober. And...he lemme go! I almost said out loud "You're kidding!" I'm mean, driver, I was FLYIN. He must have not had radar. So there ya go. There's no substitute for being sober when you get pulled over for driving like a nut. He was lookin for trouble, too. What's in the box (nothing) what WAS in the box (change) what's under the hat (nothing) MOVE the hat (see? nothing) On Your Way Buddy. Phew! Oh yeah, the REASON I was coming home so late is I was FINALLY finishing the CD I've been working on for so long. 'Twill be for sale SOON! Happy Friday!

HNT 920

I bought a book by Men's Health Magazine called Amazing Abs. Besides a host of awesome excercises it has ABS DIET POWER. That's Almonds, Beans, Spinach, Dairy, Instant oatmeal, Turkey (& other lean meat), Peanut butter, Olive oil, Whole grains, Extra protein powder(whey) and Rasberries (& other berries) . The acronym is a bit of a stretch. Eat 6 times a day, 400 calories at a shot (that's 2200 calories a day). You can see my core is coming togeher in this pic. I'm stil carrying a little fat low on my gut but the 32 inch jeans fit last night for the first time in many years. Yay! HHNT y'all!