Struggling Today

Today is 252 days sober and 30 days smoke free. I'm struggling a little bit today. I miss Bren. I fucking hate waking up alone.
"Sleepin by yourself at night can make you feel alone. Your girlfriend said so, but I don't really know." Fuck.
I worked out last night and ran out of energy after 75 minutes. Literally had to sit down and couldn't continue. Something wasn't right. I think I need to eat before working out. I'm pushing a lot harder now and can't sustain. I plan on something special maybe a series for HNT. I might have X take the pictures since I need someone who can look through the view finder and tell me "Tilt your head up. Now turn it to the right. Hold it. Click." Since I can't pose AND see I can't tell when everything's really popping (pardon the pun). I'm feeling a bit more expressive (exhibitionist) so maybe there'll be a hint of naughtiness this time around. Especially if X is taking the pictures.
I went out with this girl last night but she was a bit tweaky. Really nervous, shy, self concious and stammering. She was flattering though. She thinks I'm really hot and said in no uncertain terms that was why she was so nervous. That was nice. She's very thin and tall, at least as tall as me. She's a bad Jew (her term) because she's an atheist (she said) but she's very Jewish. I've dated a lot of (ethnically) Jewish girls. Hello? Brenda Cohen? Apparently I have a thing for them. Certainly they were some of the most intense loves of my life. This one I dunno. She kissed me sweetly enough but I'm not sure if there was a real spark there at least for me. If I'm not trying to get into your pants on the first date that's a bad sign LOL We'll see.
Meanwhile, very soon I'm flying to Miami, renting a Harley and driving to Key West for 4 days of vacation. Whether I go see friends there or bring a date I haven't decided really. I want very mugh to eat conch fritters and drink beer in the sun LOL