Today I went to work (ate a 240 calorie coffee cake), went to my noon AA meeting (where I ate a sleeve of oreos 10x50 calories=500?), then had lunch (chicken and mushrooms - 600 calories?) got out of work early, saw my Dad for dinner (steak with onions & peppers & some french fries - 800 calories?), went to the gym (50 minutes on the treadmill), flew to the rehab hospital to chair an AA meeting that someone dumped in my lap (man were those people fucked UP!), went BACK to the gym for an hour of weights (and 180 calorie protein drink with 40 grams of protein) and I'm back home now about to mix yesterday's recording session but first I'm posting here. 2240 calories of which 740 was JUNK. All sugar and carbs. FUCK. OK. As I read that back I can see that I'm manic as fuck. I think I'm developing an eating disorder. I'm starting to seriously obsess about food. I think my self discipline is good getting all that done (without drinking or smoking, etc...) but I'm beating myself up over the junk food. WTF? The thing is I really want to have killer abs by Christmas. OK, by New years day. Well, at LEAST by my birthday on March 1st. The owner of my gym said an hour of cardio every day + no carbs and NO CHEATING = killer abs in 12 weeks. Well fuck, that was weeks ago and I can't seem to not cheat! FUCK!!! Whatever. If that's my biggest problem in the world I'm blessed beyond words but I'm frustrated. I'm back down to 180 lbs in better shape than I've ever been. Why can't I ever be satisfied with anything? Why? I have a hard time patting myself on the back for anything. Meh. UPDATE: THESE GUYS say OREOS ARE ADDICTIVE! No fucking wonder I like them so fucking much. Lord knows I never met anything addictive I didn't want to scarf down. Fuck.
5 comments:
Don't beat yourself up about it, Keyser.
I don't count my calories (I'm pretty sure that would freak me the fuck out too!) but abs definitely are 90% diet and only 10% exercise.
You can do this!!!
Sweetie, sugar and carbs ARE addictive. Do you know any white powder that isn't?
Ms is right... losing weight is generally 80% diet and 20% exercise. (I think my personal trainer skewed the stats in his favor, tho, so it probably IS 90/10!)
It's like kicking any addiction. You know how to do that. You know how it works. But you're not crazy. It's addictive.
Sugar and carbs are addictive, no question. You are doing just fine and look wonderful. Don't go insane over it. You're good enough, you're hot enough, and, darn it, people like you!
ok, so here is my suggestion. you HAVE to stay away from drugs and alcohol, that's obvious. but food should be pleasant and although you need to have some discipline to stay trim and all i think you set yourself up for failure by saying no cheating on sugar and carbs. i say come up with a reasonably strict regimen that allows you to stay tuned up but give yourself one day youare allowed to eat whatever the hell youwant. either that or plan one small treat into each day.
example: if i had to give up chocoalte completely i would be absofuckinglutely miserable to live with. when i took off 25 lbs about 3 years ago i used weight watchers and i was meticulous about what i ate. i worked one single skim milk chocolate pudding cup into my life every day so i could stay sane. dude, i couldn't even exercise properly because it was when my back was so messed up and i still took off 25 lbs doing that. give yourself the opportunity to have a FEW oreos now and again but under strict enough guidlines that you don't eat 750 calories of garbage a day. example, you can have 2 oreos a day, and then savor the permissible oreons REALLY slowly.
All y'all are stellar voices of reason in the chaotic vortex of crazy that is my head. However your advice falls on deaf ears.
I never ever do anything that isn't psychotically obsessive. That's why I'm so frequently successful LOL
Bonus points for Lime with the funniest suggestion ever.
Two oreos. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Good one!
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