Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Of Agony and Irony

If I had the time and the inclination I'd re-do McCarntney's Ebony and Ivory with these lyrics.
Agony and Irony come together in perfect misery...whatever. Disclaimer: I'm not nearly as bent as it often seems out here. One reason I went all anonymous (such as it is) is that people who knew me were getting really freaked out (and giving me lots of shit) for the things I wrote here. It's a place to vent. When I say I want to drink, hurt others, hurt myself I'm venting. Belive me were I to actually buy a gun and start going through with these things I talk about you wouldn't read about it here. It would be on CNN.

So, the agony of being alone and hating it is compounded by the irony that there's a line of local women who want to shag my brains out but for various reasons I'm not interested in them; mainly because their long term prospects aren't so good. They're too old, too young, too fat, too married, too whatever. For better or worse I'm a serial monogamist. I want to be in love with one person and shag that person morning, noon and night. I don't want to settle for less.

Further Irony: There's a long list of women who I would do anything to get with but who are geographically unavailable. Dover. Dallas. Boulder. Halifax. London. Paris. WTF??? All the beautiful women in NY and I can't find one for me? Why all you beautiful girls have to live so far away? Yer killin me! Fuck's sake!

That's all for today. First one of y'all come to NY can claim me like lost luggage. I will then follow you anywhere. Actually I feel not at all unlike lost luggage. Won't someone come and claim me?

12 comments:

Joanna Cake said...

Aha, but do you believe it is possible to be a serial monogamist with so many temptations out there?

Snow White said...

I feel your pain, but in my case, all the guys are up your direction, and I'm lost in the sea of the south!

nope said...

awww... Keyser...

Here...do a little meme to cheer you up... I am tagging you ;)
Come over to my place to find out about it :)

Bittersweet said...

i agree - a blog is a fabulous place for spilling out all the baggage that a real-life friend could not accept or condone.

lost luggage? do you have a marmalade sandwich under your hat?

Dallas Meow said...

SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU - DANG IF I HADN'T ALREADY USED MY AIRLINE TICKET!
DANGBLASTIT.
Soze ... 'ey? I never would have suspected ;)
off to read more

XO

Winterswan said...

Sorry about the chickie problem. It reminds me of a story I read about John Lennon, when we was separated from Yoko and could have just about any girl but only wanted Yoko. He was bored with the groupie scene and the mindlessness of it all. Maybe you should take a trip to Paris??? There's gotta be a great girl for you in New York, though. You're in the epicenter of culture and intelligence, no? Sending big hugs your way. If I wasn't married you might be in trouble! Hugs!

Vixen said...

Got it. So the place to REALLY worry about is CNN. Until then, good to know, vent away Babe.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Frustration in areas of our lives involving the heart suck. I know these things too well.

~xo

(M)ary said...

Hm...hope you find someone soon. I commend your ability to hold out for a worthy relationship.

lime said...

well dude, i hope maybe it is somesmall thing that puts a smile on your face that i awarded you something over at my place.

yeah yeah, it ain't liek getting laid by your one true love but well, it's like getting a silly blog award from someone who appreciates you.....ok, lame, but well, for what it's worth...

Elaine Denning said...

I think if you shag someone with your eyes closed, it doesn't count :)

Lori Stewart Weidert said...

What?!!! No Champaign, IL on that list?!

Crap. I didn't make the cut.

Anonymous said...

I am just like you... and I found my match... so there is hope!!!!
Hang on... Your turn will come... the day you will not be searching for it...;-)