Monday, November 19, 2007

Of Jesus, Trust Funds and Recall


What if Jesus refused to die and be resurrected again this year...unless he got a new wardrobe? That's the thought I woke up with this morning. Apparently Jesus is tired of the sandals, long hair and white robe. If he's going to hang on the cross bleeding and dying he wants to look stylish. Those tighty whiteys just HAVE to go! Where do these thoughts come from?

Finally feeling a little better. It seems the antibiotics are working.That's good 'cause there's only two more doses. In my dream this morning my family and I were at a party for some rich people; all very snobbish. There were dogs there; a little Chihuahua and a big ol' shepherd. I don't know what it was all about but there was a vague sense of unease about fitting in. My
grandmother hoped we would and was very concerned that I would not. I really need to write this shit down when I wake. My recall is always much better when I first wake up. The phone woke me this morning though. Sudden waking always wrecks my recall.

My friend Mike was arguing with his wife over their child Benjamin (who will be born in about a month). She says "We'll take care of everything. His job will be to get good grades in school." He says "That's not much of a job." She's from a rich family. He's not. He's afraid the kid won't learn survival skills if that's all he has to do. I told him to relax. She' smarter than him so he'll never win these petty arguments but she WILL listen to reason. For the first few years the kid is sucking tit and learning to deal with gravity. That's plenty of time to pick your battles and shore them up with iron clad logic. I told him that the real question was "Which survival skill did he want the kid to learn?" I also told him that the stuff he needs to teach his son will have to be done when his wife isn't looking if he doesn't want the kid to grow up being a pussy. Mothers want to coddle their sons. Fathers want to toughen them up. That is the way of things. The real problem is that she expects his motivation to get good grades to be the trust fund they can cut him off from. Mike wants his motivation to be so he can be the best at whatever he decides to do. I told him it makes no difference as long as he gets good grades but it's a moot point. He'll get good grades or not based on who he is. Beyond a certain innate talent academic achievement is all a matter of temperament and they won't know that until he's older. So, did I give good advice, or am I talking out my butt? Bonus question: If Jesus was supposed to be black how come you see so few black Jews nowadays? Sammy Davis Jr. notwithstanding I don't see too many of them. This guy doesn't look very Jewish to me.


8 comments:

lime said...

your dreams are as weird as mine it seems. as for black jews...go to ethiopia, that's where to find them/

Zoely said...

uh? not for nothin but i don't think you HAVE any kids, do ya?
i coddle Fin but i also want him to kick ass and not be a pussy and frequently tell him as much.
Not so sure about your friend's logic & arguments but the thing is, things--and by things i mean everything--changes when the kid actually arrives. So mayeb they should wait a bit before...discussing.

Anonymous said...

I think that was good, solid advice. ;)

Anonymous said...

HA! EVERYTHING changes once da little one drops.

All plans out the window.

Just.Like.Dat.

Charlie said...

I think the advice was pretty sound. And those are the kind of weird thoughts I have. Completely random and you wonder 'where the hell did THAT come from!?' you're funny :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

Great advice.

No girl Jesuses?

S said...

He looks plenty jewish to me...just look at that jewfro!

Bunny said...

I don't think the kid should even know he has a trust fund from which to be cut off. Let him think he has to make it on his own - that's the only way he will be his own person.