As 40 comes rolling down on me I find myself repeating a line from a U2 song. "We need new dreams tonight." Not that mine ever came true, but at this point they're well past their "sell-by" date. Fame and fortune on a rock star/movie star level, a stable of fine women, houses on the coast in several countries, cars, guitars, studios, the best booze and dope that money can buy...almost but not quite. So much of my life has really been "almost but not quite". I'm not complaining. I'm fuckin lucky as hell to be alive and doing what I'm doing where I'm doing it. I could easily be dead of in jail 100 times over. I make 6 figures doing a job I don't hate too much with all the perks, I have studios to paint and make music in, a collection of art and music, a new car, I'm getting laid periodically, there's food on the table and a gym to work out in. All my problems are luxury problems. Shall I dream of being a better man to better serve my fellow man? Yeah, that's it.
5 comments:
don't remind me that 40 is barreling down upon us...ugh....so many unrealized dreams, but yes...the final one to be a better person....this is worthy.
"Shall I dream of being a better man to better serve my fellow man? Yeah, that's it." Snort. You're killing me with the sincerity there, heh.
40's coming up on me fast too, next month, and i can't wait. The older i get the better i get. I do wish i had this brain in my 22 year old body, sigh, nevertheless... one compensates.
I passed that ugly 40's since quite a while now... and got accustomed to it... Now... it is the 50's making faces at me... And you know what? I'm quite happy with my last 8 years... I did probably the best of all my life into those last years... in a very unpredictable way... No, I am not and will never be a writer, a painter or whatever I thought I could be when I was 13... But I am now stable, I'm having a good life, nice time with my love... a lot more than enough to feel secure in life...
Dreams are defined by themselves... they are dreams... sometimes they become true... often they don't... but, it is not forbidden to dream... over and over... ;-))
Your creativity IS a service to your fellow man, so I think you've really covered all the bases.
Approaching 40 was hard for me too. I started cheating on my husband (and enjoy it too much to stop - you want to compare addictive personalities?), I hated that my life wasn't what I dreamed it would be, etc. I hit the big 4-0 in September and survived it. You will too. It doesn't really feel so much different than 39 . . .
huh. i hit 40 a few months ago & it wasn't the end of the world. being the kind of person i am, i glossed right over the "i;m not complaining" and feel compelled to say that i'm sorry that your life isn't what you want it to be.
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