Posterized Half Nekkid Thursday

Because this image has been such a hit in Black & White I decided to give you this color one (albeit posterized) for HNT this week. I still don't like the way the plain old color one looks but this looks pretty cool to my eyeballs so dig on it y'all. HHNT!

Happy Halloween!

OK, I had to reach into the archives for this. Click for high res red eye version. Note: This is NOT my Halloween costume! It was a typical Sunday at my friend Lyle's house. His girlfreind had HER Halloween costume laying around (this was last February) so I thought I'd get a laugh by coming downstairs wearing it. Needless to say mission accomplished. Fortunately the skirt was "one size fits all" because the corset is COMPLETELY undone in the back and STILL barely fits LOL! Happy Halloween!

Half Nekkid Tuesday

Jesus! What's with the hands there?! One's more incriminating than the next! I swear I just had my thumbs hooked into my belt loops! I was just standing there officer! My favorite part of this pic is my face. The smile says "I just had cheezburger!" I have good days and bad days like everyone else but today (in spite of my cold) I'm feeling rich, thin, good looking, talented, crazy sexy and cool. It' s a great feeling! I just had to share.

Photo by Z

"Josephine..."

~~ The Last Words of Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor

May 5, 1821

I've been reading Salvador Dali's biography. What a nut. Genius and insanity are rarely far apart. The striking thing is how much he loved his wife, Gala. For all the women he dogged there was still ever only her. How I long for that kind of love. I thought I had it once but it was just an illusion. To love someone so much that their name would be on my lips at my dying breath...

What price a love like that?

Sick again

I don't think there's anyone on the internet who hasn't yet heard of LOLCATZ and Cheezburgers http://icanhascheezburger.com/ but there's the link. If you like funneh animule pictchas wit funneh capshuns dat's da move. I haven't posted much because I've been sick. Again. I've had more colds in the last year than in the previous ten years combined. I'm WAY past pissed off about it now. For 5 straight days I've been fighting it off mostly by sleeping but last night it finally arrived. So I'm at work feeling shitty knowing that if my blood had a proof this wouldn't be happening. I promise good pictures and stories from Key West soon. Happy Fuckin Monday. Bleah.

New Ink HNT

Nothin to show but this brand new tattoo (done by Boe at Key West Ink) and a great big credit card bill LOL I've been working on the design for some time and I'm pretty happy with the way it came out. It's lookin' a little red and itchy in the close up 'cause it IS. It was all good until this last application of bacitracin but it's only about 28 hours old. Sorry I didn't get a better picture but it's late and I'm having some camera issues. Many pictures and stories to tell but they'll have to wait. My blue and empty burning heart and I bid you a happy HNT.

Back from Key West Florida

Drag Queens and Homos and Bikers, Oh My! Yes kids, I'm back from Sunny Florida. In case you forgot I flew to Miami Saturday morning, got on a rented Harley, and drove to Key West for the first few days of Fantasy Fest, where the freaks flaunt their stuff all week long. I had an OK time although I was pretty depressed since the last time I was in Key West was with Brenda and we had originally planned this trip having done it in one day in a rush last year during her friends wedding in Islamorada. So I ended up visiting all the places we went and feeling bad because I'm a glutton for punishment. On the upside I didn't drink or smoke despite considerable temptation to do so. Possibly not a wise place to go or time to go there but whatever. There were lots of drag queens, gays, bikers, drunks and druggies of all descriptions and lots of gratuitous sex and nudity. My kind of place. Before I post pics and such I just want to apologize about the previous posts. I was in a bad place emotionally and ranting about human physical attractiveness in ridiculously stereotypical ways. What can I say? I'm feeling a little depressed about the way I look and feeling inadequate to attract a permanent mate that I find attractive. I didn't mean to offend anyone. PS I now have a REALLY cool new tattoo!

Out And Out Of Sorts

This picture came up for "Out Of Sorts" and I rather like it, so here it is. I'm starting to look like the figure in the middle (except my cock is a lot bigger) but I'm still unsatisfied. I talked to the owner of my gym and he said "You want to lose the fat on your abs there's only one way. EAT. CLEAN. No carbs for 12 weeks, and an hour of cardio every day. That's it. Do that and you'll find out what your abs look like." FUCK. That's NOT what I wanted to hear. I've been fucking around with lowering my fat, limiting sugar, excercising my ass off (literally) but can't lose the fat on my stomach. Since carbs are comfort food and I'm depressed as it is that's sort of daunting. Why am I depressed? Who the fuck knows? Since when do I need a reason? I'm pretty sure I'm bi-polar to begin with (whatever the fuck THAT half-assed psychobabble diagnosis means) so whatev, yo. Bottom line: I'm off to key west for 4 days on a Harley but I can't smoke, drink, do drugs, fuck dodgy women OR eat what I want. What sort of vacation is THAT? Why the hell am I doing all this again? So since I can't do ANY of the things I enjoy I can at least spend money foolishly flying to Flordia, renting Harleys and getting tattooed in Key West. 'Cause I'm ALL about the STYLE yo. yo. Maybe I'll buy a guitar in Miami.

Standin in the shower thinkin (NSFW)

I was standing in the shower thinking about what makes a man an outlaw or a leader - I'm thinking about power...
I worked as a nude artists' model for years. I never found anything dirty or offensive about the human body or sex and frankly I think people who do are sick in the head. Because of that attitude you have every kind of sex crime and perversion imaginable. That really makes me mad. God made us this way. How could that possibly be sinful or wrong? This is art in praise of my creator, God Almighty. HHNT!

UPDATE: The doctor visit was a success. New blood pressure reading? 100/70 The doctor said "Whoa! That's GREAT!" Last year was 175/95. Woot!

Emotional Overload

The pic is from STRANGER DANGER Awesome!!!! So I'm feeling pretty out of sorts. It's been 7 weeks since I quit smoking. By the time 30 days had passed the last time I was so depressed I was ready to kill myself. It's a little better this time but only a little. I think I might be misnaming the emotion I'm experiencing. Since I quit drinking (and smoking) I'm MUCH more sensitive emotionally. Example: I hear a song, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. As it plays I get all teary. I'm experiencing the emotion of the singer as she sings, the emotions of BOTH characters in the song AND the emotions that the song elicits in me. I feel overwhelmed and buffeted by this sea, these waves washing over me. It's WAY too fucking much. It is NOT a comfortable feeling and it makes me want to drink to erect a shield of "I-don't-give-a-fuck". This is over A SONG and an old fuckin song that I never liked very much at that. This is how I feel most all the time about everything now. No wonder I'm going nuts!

So I think what I'm calling "depression" might be something more aptly named "emotional exhaustion". Tired and drained from experiencing and dealing with a surplus of emotion. I wanted to share this at a meeting but it keeps slipping my mind because I'm having difficulty organizing my thoughts and remembering shit.

What else? I'm lonely in a sea of people. All I want is someone to love like crazy who loves me back the way I love them. God dammit I'm fuckin worthy and deserving (and I'm a fabulous fuck I might add) so what the fuck? I'm having a great deal of trouble wanting what I have and being grateful for it.

I'm also going to the doctor for a physical tomorrow and I'm a bit apprehensive. All this effort I'm making to be healthy...what if he tells me I'm dying? What if he says...I dunno, bad things? I imagine it can't possibly be worse than last year when he assured me I was going to die soon, assuming I continued drinking and smoking the way I was. So here I am again surveying the wreckage of my future. I'm so fucked up sometimes it's ridiculous.

Character and the lack thereof

This cracked me up but it's really apropos of nothing. Just thought I'd share the laugh. Today is day 366, a year and a day. I keep feeling melancholy but I'm trying hard to shake it off. I was so blue when I got home from work yesterday I forced myself to go to the gym for 2 hours. I felt much better after that. Move a muscle; change a thought. Any particle physicist will tell you that the act of observing a thing changes that thing. Therefore if you change the way you look at a thing, you change the thing itself! I'm trying hard to want what I have. Even though many elements of my life these days are bitterly unsatisifying I feel incredibly blessed in many ways. I have many choices today where I once had none. That is a gift. Many peopl ehave come to look up to me and to depend upon my help and care. That's pretty fulfilling. All Thanks And Praise Be To God Everyday! Dem in Babylon dun know de wey, but dem will fi gwan wan dey!

Happy Anniversary To Me

Happy Anniversary Cupcake! Today is one year since I drank my final bottle of Budweiser beer or in fact any alcohol whatsoever. It's also been 45 days since my final cigarette. I weigh 180 lbs. I'm in the best shape of my life. Everything is going alarmingly well. I know I still have a long way to go though. When asked what I want to do to celebrate the first thing that comes to my mind is "drink". Go back to the shack with a bottle of Jack and get fuckin' whacked. This makes sense. It is not normal behavior for alcoholics to stay sober. I wish I felt a little better though. I'm still pretty sad. Considering where I am in my life compared to where I easily could be I ought to be on my knees in tears of gratitude and happiness right now. I'm working on it. God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

Tally Ho

Well, I did my best to tally the votes for favorite HNT. Y'all didn't make it easy because several of you couldn't decide or voted for multiple. I did my best to figure it out fairly and it turns out that the ladies prefer a man with a sense of humor. This one got the most votes:

I have to admit it makes me laugh when I see it too. Anyway, thanks for voting! I haven't decided on a prize so what do y'all want? A gold plated 2 family three handled credenza?
I went to see Tori Amos last night and she is AWESOME although she didn't play many of the songs I really wanted to hear, like Caught A Lite Sneeze, Talula, Juarez, etc, etc... When you have 8 albums it's hard to please everyone I guess and you want to play your new stuff. Everyone there was drinking it seemed. The next to me reeked of Jack Daniels, the women behind me reeked of red and white wine respectively, the people in front of me were all drinking beer...Jesus! I went out to pee and stood in front of the bar for a long time getting a weird look from the bartenders. Today is 362 days. Wow. Last night I dreamt that I was in a bar drinking diet coke and when they ran out I switched to cranberry and suddenly realized I was drunk! There as vodka in it! OH NOES!!!!!!11! I went OFF on the bartender. I was very unhappy indeed. Imagine my relief at waking up to find it was not true! Phew! Meanwhile, Shibari got through her surgery OK! YAY!!!!!! Very very very very very very very very very happy about that.

Vote For Your Favorite HNT?

OK, so I took a whole batch of pictures in my boxer shorts for Shibari's Panty Parade. I couldn't decide which one to use for HNT so I picked what I liked best. Please vote for your favorite? I'll do something special for the folks who pick the most popular one.
#1

#2

#3

I debated posting this last one because it's so silly but that left arm is kickin! Couple more pounds to go on the gut, tho. HHNT! (and yes, I know it's Wednesday. I'm a busy man!)

Fell in love with a girl

"He fell madly in love with wildly inappropriate women." All I want is a good ship and a star to steer her by. Please don't forget to visit Shibari, give her some love and pictures of you in your skivvies.

Sick Friend, etc...

More Genius from my friend Hugh @ Gaping Void. He couldn't pick me out of a lineup but I still think of him as my friend. He's a brilliantly keen observer of humanity.

My friend Shibari (pictured) is sick. She's getting surgery this week and she needs your love and support. Go say hi for heaven's sake! Also she's collecting pics of panties and boxers for The Underwear Parade which I'm greatly looking forward to (and participating in). I expect your co-operation in this matter. I think the world of this woman and I don't want to let her down. Please comply. That is to say: pix of pantys, boxers, tighty whiteys, whatever you got, send 'em to her.

I went to see John Mayall this weekend and for a 72 year old man he rocks pretty damned hard. I ran into an old friend who knew the band so we all ended up hanging out. It was pretty cool chatting up the guy who discovered Eric Clapton. Shake hands with history mate!

Dramatis Personae

OK, I have to admit it: I think I might be getting just a leeetle overly dramatic about things here. Yes, I'm a little bit depressed. Yes, I miss fucking the beautiful, petite, fragile and precious Brenda. I liked the way she did me. But in point of fact she really was a bitch on wheels most of the time we weren't fucking. Her topics of conversation were "Boring stressful shit about her job and poor her", "Boring stressful shit about her family and poor her" or "Boring gossip about her hopelessly dull as dirt boring friends and poor them." Oh yea, and let's not forget the ever popular "Andy's failings as a potential mate and problems with our relationship." Fuck that bitch. I'm just jonesing for a cigarette. The depression is creeping in a little slower and through the back door of a failed relationship. I said I was over it already, didn't I? I'm just pissed because I don't yet have a girlfriend I'm in love with. It'll come! I just need a little acceptance and a little patience. Grrr.

Possessed By The Prince Of Lies

My disease telling me lies again. "Your mommy doesn't love you because you aren't GOOD ENOUGH but if you try real, real, real, real hard and BECOME a good enough boy she'll come back to you and love you again and everything will be OK! But if she DOESN'T come back it's all YOUR FAULT! You're an inadequate pitiful excuse for a shadow of a man and you must now drink yourself to death because YOU are a WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT who doesn't deserve any happiness in your life anyway. Now DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE YOU FUCKER!"

Yeah, my disease is good like that. Shoots right fromthe hip and straight for the heart.

What's REALLY happening is that the sad, sick, self-centered woman I used to be in love with is suffering from her own charater defects which have nothing whatsoever to do with me. The best thing I can do for her is pray for her happiness.

The best thing I can do for me is pray for knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry that out. But it ain't easy and right now it hurts like a motherfucker. Man, is there ever a difference between knowing the path and walking the path!

Your prayers will be appreciated.

El Corazon Roto

I'm not doing too well. I'm sick. My character defects are in full effect. The demons are at the gate and they want in. I am afraid.

New Pix HNT

I promised y'all some new pix so here they are. I hope you like them. You know what I really like? The taste of a beautiful woman. Oh yeah. I like that A LOT. HHNT!

Shit Storm

It's amazing to me how quickly things can turn to absolute shit in a heartbeat. I minute ago I was looking forward to visiting friends, for a barbecue and getting famously laid tonight while anticipating a nice vacation in a couple of weeks. My biggest problem was how to fit in a workout.
Suddenly, many things are simply not right. My fabulous fuck ain't happening, the tweaky twing I went out with the other night rejected me, and the whole bike rental thing is totally fucked and I might get stuck in Miami with no bike and hotel reservations I can't get to. Fuck.

FLASH!

No, No, No, Not that kind! Not yet anyway. Occasionally the NEWS gets something right.
You hear people say more black men are in prison than in college and for a change someone checked and discovered IT JUST AIN'T SO! And by a long shot too! That's good news all around.

Vacation

I just rented this bike in Miami Florida. $600

I got a king size bed in this cute little pink hotel by the beach on Key West for 3 days. $400

Turns out it's going to be Fantasy Fest! WOOHOO!

Oh. Hell. To. The. Yeah.

Struggling Today

Today is 252 days sober and 30 days smoke free. I'm struggling a little bit today. I miss Bren. I fucking hate waking up alone.
"Sleepin by yourself at night can make you feel alone. Your girlfriend said so, but I don't really know." Fuck.
I worked out last night and ran out of energy after 75 minutes. Literally had to sit down and couldn't continue. Something wasn't right. I think I need to eat before working out. I'm pushing a lot harder now and can't sustain. I plan on something special maybe a series for HNT. I might have X take the pictures since I need someone who can look through the view finder and tell me "Tilt your head up. Now turn it to the right. Hold it. Click." Since I can't pose AND see I can't tell when everything's really popping (pardon the pun). I'm feeling a bit more expressive (exhibitionist) so maybe there'll be a hint of naughtiness this time around. Especially if X is taking the pictures.
I went out with this girl last night but she was a bit tweaky. Really nervous, shy, self concious and stammering. She was flattering though. She thinks I'm really hot and said in no uncertain terms that was why she was so nervous. That was nice. She's very thin and tall, at least as tall as me. She's a bad Jew (her term) because she's an atheist (she said) but she's very Jewish. I've dated a lot of (ethnically) Jewish girls. Hello? Brenda Cohen? Apparently I have a thing for them. Certainly they were some of the most intense loves of my life. This one I dunno. She kissed me sweetly enough but I'm not sure if there was a real spark there at least for me. If I'm not trying to get into your pants on the first date that's a bad sign LOL We'll see.
Meanwhile, very soon I'm flying to Miami, renting a Harley and driving to Key West for 4 days of vacation. Whether I go see friends there or bring a date I haven't decided really. I want very mugh to eat conch fritters and drink beer in the sun LOL

A rare meme

If I were going to steal a meme from Lime it would be shorter!
If I were a beginning, I would be long ago in a galaxy far far away!
If I were a month, I would be July 'cause I'm hot like that yo.
If I were a time of day, I would be BEDTIME!
If I were a planet, I would be URANUS!
If I were a season, I would be DUCK SEASON! WABBIT SEASON!
If I were a sea animal, I would be a Great White Shark!
If I were a direction, I would be "Yea, that's it. A little more to the right." Or perhaps "Lower"
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a leather loveseat!
If I were a sin, I would be...I AM A SIN! Now commit me.
If I were a liquid, I would be LSD.
If I were a scare, I would be falling asleep at the wheel.
If I were a gem, I would be a diamond. Expensive and hard.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be a giant and extremely potent pot plant. Now smoke me.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be sailing weather!
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a Fender Stratocaster and I'd be turned up LOUD.
If I were an animal, I would be a tiger.
If I were an emotion, I would be love.
If I were a vegetable, I would be a big ol' cucumber!
If I were a sound, I would be screaming feedback.
If I were an element, I would be gold.
If I were a car, I would be a Caddilac.
If I were a song, I would be a #1 hit wit a bullit!
If I were a food, I would be Spicy Thai Food!
If I were a place, I would be The Caribbean.
If I were a material, I would be hemp!
If I were a taste, I would be chocolate.
If I were a scent, I would be sandalwood.
If I were a religion, I would be sex.
If I were a sentence, I would be "Do me!"
If I were a facial expression, I would be a silly orgasm face.
If I were a subject in school, I would be sex education.
If I were a colour, I would be Candy Apple Red.
If I were a thing, I would be a thing of incredible stength, beauty and utility.
If I were a book, I would be The Claiming Of Sleeping Beauty.
If I were an artist, I would be redundant because I AM an artist.
If I were a collection of poems, I would be filthy limericks.
If I were a landmass, I would be Hawaii!
If I were a watch, I would be a Rolex.
If I were God, I would be calling a do over.
If I were a vowel, I would be...a big O!
If I were a consonant, I would be "MMMMMMMMMM!"
If I were a theory, I would be a crackpot theory!
If I were a famous person, I would be rich too!
If I were an item of electronic equipment, I'd be a cranked Stereo!
If I were a sport, I would be a bedroom sport and I'd be winning!
If I were a movie, I would be Fight Club!
If I were a cartoon, I would be Bugs Bunny!
If I were an explorer, I would be Magellen like a felon!
If I were a scientist, I would be Einstein with a beer stein!
If I were a relation, I would be I'd be a sexual relation!
If I were a river, I would be the Hudson River!
If I were intoxication, I would be tripping your brains out!
If I were alone, I would be looking for a girlfriend! Oh wait, I AM!
If I were a question, I would be "Wanna fuck?"
If I were a habit, I would be a very, very BAD habit!
If I were in an atom, I would be goin fission!
If I were you, I would be calling the men in the white coats!

Just like Lolly says...

Lolly said...
A White Magic Cure for a Black Magic Woman AKA prayer:

I am bonded in my heart to someone who does not share this bond.

I feel so drawn to Brenda, while she is not drawn to me.

Please, GOD, disconnect my heart from this longing within me that does not serve.

I release this person into Your hands.

May the ropes that bind my heart be cut.

May they not bind me.

May they not bind her.

I release her that I might be released.

Retract the silent hooks that I have in her.

Bring back to me my power and my love.

Cut the cord that chemically ties me to her.

Free me from her.

Free her from me.

May we find peace.

Free us both.

AMEN

ZZ TOP etc...

I went to see ZZ Top in Boston Saturday night. My expectations were high to begin with but they were just beyond great. True showmen, funny, entertaining and fabulous. Well worth ever cent of the reasonably priced $54 ticket and the 3 hour drive each way. Remarkably the show wasn't completely sold out though there was certainly a large crowd. The Bank Of America Pavillion in S. Boston is an AWESOME place to see a show. It's a humongous outdoor tent and the sound is great! There isn't a bad seat in the place. All in all a fabulous show and a great time. I also got to see several old friends from home and hang out, drove around the old town, etc... I been shufflin' through the Boston sand, but my head's in New York City. Things are going well. I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger but my broken heart seems to be mending pretty quickly. It hurts from time to time but I just pray and I feel better. Thank you all for your love and support. Truly.