Weasel words

I love the way people talk about sex and relationships. And by "love" I mean "hate". See? Everything is a vague euphemism. Some examples of weasel words: Going out with; dating; seeing; sleeping with. These expressions and their meanings are often obscure to say the least.

I used to have recreational sex (what I like to call "sport fucking") with a girl named Kate who agreed with me on these matters. When I jokingly suggested that "personal lubricant' really ought to be called "IMpersonal lubricant" she said, simply, "Fuck Grease". My kind of girl. Alas she was underage and over the top. She nearly broke my nose one night during a particularly intense demonstration of my linguistic cunning. Moving on...

I bring this up because of a conversation I had with my therapist last night. The one I'm "dating". I was wondering why she seemed so interested and yet was so reserved with her affections. She would hold my hand or kiss me but very demurely and dispassionately. I'm a fiery and passionate indivudual and this was starting to get on my nerves. My thinking was "OK, she's a proper Southern Belle but by the third date you know whether you want to fuck this person or not, no? Where's the heat?"

So we went sailing, went to dinner and went to my place. During the trip I learned that the therapist has some damage. "No shit" you reply "You don't say?" Yes, I do. It seems her last "boyfriend" lied about EVERYTHING. Where he worked, where he went to school, what he did, where he lived... oh boy. Can you say "Trust issues"?

Anyway, we get back to my place, I show her around, my work, my degrees (all the proof I am who I say I am for heaven's sake) and get her on the bed. So we're talking, snuggling, kissing, I'm rubbing her back, start getting her clothes off... and it comes out. "I'm still seeing the guy I was with when we met." Really? I'm, literally, shocked. Seriously.

Here I am thinking she's a proper Southern Belle and home girl is a playa! Nigga please! So now we get into language. What exactly is "Seeing" him? Dates? Dinner? Are you sleeping with him? Regularly? Exclusively? It became apparent that defining one's terms is very necessary to have this conversation. It shocking (to me) what people say, what they hear and what they actually mean. So it turns out they've been "dating" (i.e. going out to parties, dinner and such) and recenty had sex once. She has no idea if he's dating or fucking anyone else and they haven't had any conversations about exclusivity one way or the other. She went out of her way to tell me they were "safe" meaning they used a condom. I felt I had to ask what she meant! This took a lot of digging through weasely language. Note: I'm not finding fault with HER at all, just the culture and our use of these words. When I asked if she was sleeping with him she said yes. When I amended that and said "Are you actively fucking him and do you plan to again?" she said "Well it was once, recently and I dont know." I pointed out that there's a big difference between those two positions.

Does anyone disagree that there's a big difference between "I'm sleeping with this person" and "I did it with this person once, dunno about the future"? You have to ask the right questiuons the right way if you want an honest and correct answer. So I said "Well how do you think he would feel about you being here half naked on my bed?" She didn't answer because I don't think she knows. I'm thinking he wouldn't like it at all. He was very jealous of my attention to her at the party and if he knew she was "dating" me he wouldn't be pleased I dont think. I could be wrong though. He seemed like kind of a jerk to me, mainly because he was clearly trying (and failing) to cock block me from getting next to her.

So anyway, some more conversation like that and I said 'Well, you have some questions to answer now. How do you feel about this, how does HE feel about this and what are you going to do about it? So we made out some more and when she was thoroughly wet and hot she said "OK, time to take me home." and I did, without complaint. I feel like I'm making an investment here but I'm none too sure about its long and short term prospects. I guess we'll see. I have to admit I'm enjoying courting her. Everyone knows what THAT word means, right? Trying to get into her pants (and by "pants" I mean pussy). At this point in for a penny, in for a pound. Otherwise it's a total loss of three good dinners, drinks and my Oh-So-Valuable time. Plus I really want to fuck her now. I love a challenge. Whadda y'all think?